On the day before my due date, my mother-in-law said, “When do you want to have the baby?” I immediately thought “right now” but thought it would be more appropriate to say, “Tomorrow!” She said I will pray for that. Evening came on my due date and I started to have some irregular contractions I was hopeful might be pre labor. I called my mom and said I thought I would probably just pick her up in the morning but that I wanted Andi to stay the night at her house just in case. Truthfully by the time my mom came to pick Andi up I thought I might actually go into labor that night or the following morning. I picked up the house and then Paul and I decided it would be best to rest so we got in bed. Paul immediately fell asleep and I immediately realized I wouldn’t be doing any sleeping so I got up and began to labor in the living room. Just me and my birthing ball. I was determined not to get to the hospital too early so I got into the zone.
I did a lot more preparation for my second birth than my first. I needed a different experience, and spent time thinking through what I wanted and how to achieve that. I can’t stand that some people are made to feel shame for getting an epidural as I think it is a very personal decision, but I really wanted as few interventions as possible. So I focused on breathing and staying present. I came up with some phrases that meant something very specific to me. Super simple like you can do it. Breathe. Trust your body. Stay present. These stayed in my mind and helped. Two hours flew by and all of sudden I wanted Paul. So I began yelling his name in between contractions but he wasn’t waking up. My labor was progressing so fast it felt overwhelming to me to walk in to the bedroom and wake him up. After a few tries between contractions however I did just that. He was completely shocked and freaked out as he could see I was really in labor and my contractions were coming hard and fast (maybe five minutes apart lasting over a minute and a half). He tried to time them and I definitively told him I did not want him to so of course he tried to secretly time them. I tried to take a bath but that didn’t feel good. We decided to ask my doula to come over. A few minutes later however after a particularly strong contraction, I said “I need to go to the hospital now” and we pretty much ran to the car.
Tina met us there and when we got there I surprised everyone and asked for a wheelchair haha. I remember seeing Tina and Paul give each other the raised eyebrows. It was intense! On our way to the room to get checked and monitored I had a contraction and the nurse said, “Is this your first or second baby?” I said, “second.” And she said, “Honey we are taking you right to your room. You are definitely staying.” Good thing because I was already dilated to an 8. From there it was a blur of answering questions, peeing in a cup and being monitored which I HATED and kept asking them to take off but they refused. My doctor was brand new and in her twenties. I was one of her first births so she was most comfortable with me on the bed. I remember asking if I could just be naked while the nurse was trying to help me get my gown on after peeing and she said no. That seemed incredibly silly to me as I was about to have a baby. Paul was incredible. I wanted him to be confident and assertive. I shocked myself with my own assertiveness refusing to answer questions that I deemed dumb and had already answered 1 million times throughout the pregnancy so they let Paul answer for me until they got to the does anyone abuse you question and Paul said no. They looked at me and I confirmed. I remember Tina dabbing my forehead with a cold cloth in between contractions. Such a welcome relief. Then I said I wanted to change position but I wasn’t sure what position. Tina asked if I could stand up and the doctor said yes. I stood up and panicked thinking I was about to have the baby. Turns out I delivered my water unbroken. Paul said it looked just like a water balloon. Things were already moving fast and after that I was just about ready to push so the doctor made me get back on the bed. And in one round of pushing, maybe a few quick contractions but no break he was out. No tearing this time. I panicked when I saw him because he looked like a blue alien and asked if he was okay. But he was perfect. My second thought was holy cow he is so big. My whole body was shaking as I held him for the next few hours. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I remember thinking to myself I think next time I want to have a home birth and if not I want the epidural.
Tina met us there and when we got there I surprised everyone and asked for a wheelchair haha. I remember seeing Tina and Paul give each other the raised eyebrows. It was intense! On our way to the room to get checked and monitored I had a contraction and the nurse said, “Is this your first or second baby?” I said, “second.” And she said, “Honey we are taking you right to your room. You are definitely staying.” Good thing because I was already dilated to an 8. From there it was a blur of answering questions, peeing in a cup and being monitored which I HATED and kept asking them to take off but they refused. My doctor was brand new and in her twenties. I was one of her first births so she was most comfortable with me on the bed. I remember asking if I could just be naked while the nurse was trying to help me get my gown on after peeing and she said no. That seemed incredibly silly to me as I was about to have a baby. Paul was incredible. I wanted him to be confident and assertive. I shocked myself with my own assertiveness refusing to answer questions that I deemed dumb and had already answered 1 million times throughout the pregnancy so they let Paul answer for me until they got to the does anyone abuse you question and Paul said no. They looked at me and I confirmed. I remember Tina dabbing my forehead with a cold cloth in between contractions. Such a welcome relief. Then I said I wanted to change position but I wasn’t sure what position. Tina asked if I could stand up and the doctor said yes. I stood up and panicked thinking I was about to have the baby. Turns out I delivered my water unbroken. Paul said it looked just like a water balloon. Things were already moving fast and after that I was just about ready to push so the doctor made me get back on the bed. And in one round of pushing, maybe a few quick contractions but no break he was out. No tearing this time. I panicked when I saw him because he looked like a blue alien and asked if he was okay. But he was perfect. My second thought was holy cow he is so big. My whole body was shaking as I held him for the next few hours. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I remember thinking to myself I think next time I want to have a home birth and if not I want the epidural.
How incredible to be a woman and have the privilege of bringing new life into the world. My tips: hire a doula. Think about what you want and what might derail you and talk with your husband about it. And don’t be afraid to be vocal. I don’t think I could have had a quiet natural labor. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I never once felt like I couldn’t do it. I knew I could the whole time and that was the feeling of empowerment I was looking for.
